Adorning Christ
Ellen and I were married before the smartphone existed. We will be celebrating our 17th wedding anniversary this summer. We met in Washington, D.C. and one of our favorite “dates” was to get a cup of coffee and go peruse a bookstore for something to read. We would spend hours walking through a bookstore and pulling books off a shelf reading the back cover and maybe even reading the first few paragraphs of the opening chapter. Coffee, each other and books! We loved it. We know the adage, “Do not judge a book by its cover,” but what is the first thing you do at a bookstore, “Judge a book by its cover (and title).” The title and the cover of the book are the first things that make a book attractive to pick up and read. Regardless of how beautiful the cover design and how clever the title, the real test for the value of a book was opening it up and reading its contents, considering the subject matter, and judging the beauty of its argument and writing style.
The outside of the book may initially draw one in but it is not wise to judge a book by its cover. My brother bought me the Count of Monte Cristo a few years ago for my birthday. The cover is simple and classic, the words are small and in an old font, and the book has been on my shelf since I got it. I recently dusted off the book and decided to crack it open and read it. I am now about a third of the way through it and loving it. The book is adorning virtue and honor and loyalty. I will suspend my final verdict until I finish the book, but so far the book is encouraging me to live with more loyalty to my family and more honor and virtue in my friendships. Its contents are making a life lived before the face of God attractive to my soul.
Beloved, we want the contents of our lives to adorn the Lord Jesus Christ. We want our conduct and our character to draw people in to see the beauty and the majesty and the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
Adorning Christ in Conduct
The Apostle Peter wrote to encourage a discouraged and suffering church to hold fast to Christ now as you look forward to the future. Peter believes that pondering the future reality of life with Christ will change how we live. He believes that being so heavenly minded will encourage us to do much earthly good. And yet, he is not blind to the harsh and often difficult realities of life. He grounds our conduct not in ourselves but in Christ. 1 Peter 3:1–2,
[1] Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, [2] when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
These words may sound harsh to 21st century ears, but rightly understood they are precious and beautiful. Peter is writing to encourage and exhort wives in challenging marriages to adorn the gospel of Jesus Christ. He is showing them that their conduct towards their husbands has an eschatological effect. They can help win their husbands to love and worship God and experience eternal life. Their lives have purpose and value.
The first word of this section, “likewise,” helps place Peter’s exhortation to women in marriage in the context of the rest of the book. In our day, we typically focus on the command first, “wives, be subject to your own husbands,” without understanding the context. Modern ears do not like the idea of submission and therefore we reject it. Our society celebrates individual autonomy and freedom to be our own ruler and decision maker. We hear “submission” as an affront to all that is decent in a postmodern world. And yet, the word “likewise” shows us that the idea of submission is not only found in marriage but in all society and it is good.
Submission helps the lost world see the gospel and the gospel helps save the lost world. Godly submission adorns the gospel. Look at the flow of Peter’s argument, he first identifies our new identity in Christ, 1 Peter 2:9, “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people of his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.” We have been saved to Christ so that we may share Christ. 1 Peter 2:11-12,
[11] Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. [12] Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.
In light of what God has done for us in Christ, we no longer are home in this world, but exiles and strangers. Our citizenship is in heaven and now the aim of our life is to help others join a better country, heavenly one whose builder is God. After establishing our identity in Christ, he exhorts all Christians to submit to government and slaves to submit to their master, 1 Peter 2:13, “Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution...for this is the will of God, that by good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people...living as servants of God.” And 1 Peter 2:18, “Servants, be subjects to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly...this is a gracious thing in the sight of God.”
God is pleased when being mindful of God, we submit ourselves to governing authority and to ungodly authorities. Every time we submit because we are conscious of God, he is pleased for to this we have been called. We called to follow the example of our Lord and Master Jesus Christ,1 Peter 2:21–25,
[21] For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. [22] He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. [23] When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. [24] He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. [25] For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
Likewise, wives, be like the Lord Jesus Christ, the lover of your soul, your Savior, the Shepherd and Overseer, of your soul, be subject to your own husbands. God is inviting you to follow him. Jesus says, “Deny yourself, pick up your cross daily and follow me.”
Jesus is not asking you to go where he has not already been. What a kind and merciful Savior. He is gentle and lowly. Remember that submission is good for it reflects Christ and he adorns the gospel that saves. Peter is not only commanding wives to submit to their own husbands but to their own unbelieving, disobedient husbands. “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.” One’s submission was a tool for salvation. Peter, under the influence of the Holy Spirit, believes it is best not to constantly tell your husband about his need for salvation, but to share it and then show it.
The Bible is clear that a husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. The husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church and lays his life down for her. And a wife submits to her husband, even if her husband does not obey the word, for a wife's ultimate submission is to Jesus for to this she has been called. What does it mean to biblically submit for a wife to her husband? John Piper offers six marks of biblical submission.
God knows what is best for us and his way of submission and headship is the path of joy.
Be sure to marry a man mature enough and humble enough to lead biblically.
Submission is mainly an intelligent, happy, wise support for that leadership.
Which means that submission is a responsiveness to his initiative taking, which is not comprehensive control, but involves you in the planning of the family life.
Submission means in a draw you say: I trust you to do what is best.
Submission means ultimately submission to Jesus so that you never follow your husband into sin.
If this is a difficult concept, I pray you would find an older sister and/or a godly couple and talk through specifics on how submission looks in marriage.
The context of the passage is suffering. Many wives in Peter’s day were suffering by living with disobedient husbands. Some of you here today may be facing that same struggle. I would encourage you to meditate on the entire book of 1 Peter. See how God is with you in your suffering and how your suffering in light of your faith in God glorifies and honors him and will be used to draw your husband and others into a saving relationship with Jesus Christ. Your godly conduct is not in vain. Follow the example of Jesus Christ. How much good came out of his submission? Trust him.
Adorning Christ in Character
Conduct flows from character. The aim of our life is to honor Christ in everything. It does not begin externally but in honor the Lord in our hearts. 1 Peter 3:3–4,
[3] Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—[4] but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
First, Peter is not saying you can’t ever braid your hair or wear gold jewelry, or put nice clothing, but he is saying that should never be your aim. The aim of your life is not external but internal. Beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
The word “imperishable,” is directly connected to salvation in 1 Peter. One who has been born again with God’s imperishable Spirit lives differently. 1 Peter 1:22-23,
[22] Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, [23] since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God;
It is impossible to have a changed character without a changed heart. And the Bible is very clear that we all need a changed heart. If you are here and you have never trusted in Jesus as your Savior, let me challenge you to do so today. We can’t save ourselves. Peter says that the way of humanity, trying to be saved by good works, is futile and empty. No matter how many good works we do, we cannot erase our sin. Sin can’t be erased; it has to be paid for. Jesus was the only one who committed no sin. He came to bear our sins in his body on a tree. He was crushed for our iniquity and it is by his wounds we are healed. He died so we could live. For he not only died, but was raised from the dead. The resurrection of Jesus gives us hope. It gives us hope to endure suffering here, because we know this is not our final home. Jesus bore our sins in his body on a tree, that we might die to sin and live for righteousness. The beginning of salvation is realizing that you are a sinner, a straying sheep, that needs to return to the Shepherd, the Overseer of your soul. You can return to him today. Confess you sin and your futile trust in your good works. Turn from your sin. Trust in Christ and be saved with the precious blood of Christ.
Christians, men and women, should strive for a gentle and quiet spirit. Gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit. Jesus is described as gentle and lowly. He is meek. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return or threaten others, but quietly trusted God. Dear brothers and sisters, let us cultivate a quiet and gentle spirit for it is very precious in God’s sight. We live in an age that values the external. Social Media, the smartphone and the age of the selfie has made the external image the most important aspect of one’s identity. Beloved, we must reject that idea. We must put our shields up and understand how our culture is trying to invert the life of faith. We must care more about the inner person of the heart than our external appearance. Protect yourself. A constant scrolling of social media and the constant barrage of images of people when they look their best may not serve your soul to cultivate the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. Older sisters train up our younger sisters. This world is dangerous and wants women to tie their value and worth with their external beauty. Beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Let us not build sand castles of beauty but stone fortresses of real beauty and strength.
Sisters, I hope you see that so far that Peter is calling you to be like Jesus. Submission is like Jesus. Having a quiet and gentle spirit is to be like Jesus. Read these exhortations not with opposition but delight. God is inviting you to be like him. This text was written to encourage and exhort you in your calling as born again, blood bought heirs of the grace of life.
Adorning Christ in Calling
Peter continues to exhort women to live with a living hope with eyes on the eternal reality of their identity in Christ. 1 Peter 3:5–6
[5] For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, [6] as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
Sarah was one of the matriarchs in the Old Testament. She was the mother of the child of promise, Isaac, the child of her old age. Verse 6, is probably a reference to Genesis 18:12, when Sarah laughed thinking about the possibility of bearing a child. “So Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I am worn out, and my lord is old, shall I have pleasure?” to which God replied, “Is anything too hard for the Lord? At the appointed time I will return to you, about this time next year, and Sarah shall have a son.”
Is anything too hard for the Lord? No. Nothing is too hard for the Lord. Sarah hoped in God. You can hope in God. In the midst of your trials and your suffering, you can hope in God and trust him just like Sarah. You walk like Sarah when you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Women were called not to fear this world and its treatment, but to fear God and trust in him. This world is at war against women as we see in Genesis 3, but my sisters follow Jesus Christ who entrusted himself to God while doing good. God is inviting you to trust him and trust his word.
Courage takes many forms. We are called to be strong and courageous for the Lord is with us. It will take tremendous courage for women to stand on God’s word in today’s world. Women are assaulted with all sorts of divergent worldviews and empty idols. It will take tremendous courage in the 21st century to hope in God. If you stand on God’s word, people will look at you sideways and may malign you or mock you, but to this you are called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example so that you might follow in his steps. By the Lord’s help, you can walk in hope and courage as you face all the lies and attacks of the evil one. Be strong and courageous for the Lord is with you.
Adorning Christ in Caring
The calling of husbands is no less countercultural. In the first century, women were not honored and valued. God is calling husbands, in obedience to Christ, to live in light of eternity and honor their wives as co-heirs of eternal life.1 Peter 3:7
[7] Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
He begins with likewise connecting it back to the idea of submission and suffering. God does not call us to an easy life, but a life of sacrifice and service. Paul writes, “husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her.” Peter is saying that husbands should suffer by submitting their desires to the Lord and serving their wives. They should primarily not serve themselves but being conscious of God and our heavenly citizenship and future glory, men should honor women as co-heirs of life.
In the first century, the culture did not honor women. They were considered intellectually and morally inferior to men. These words would have been revolutionary in the first century. Women are not inferior to men, but equal in Christ, co-heirs of eternal life. Galatians 3:27–29,
[27] For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. [28] There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. [29] And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise.
Peter highlights the equality of men and women. Men and women are made in the image of God. Men and women are saved by grace in Christ. In Christ, we are one. This is a revolutionary idea in the first century.
But Peter does not only refer to the sameness of men and women, but their differences. God created men and women differently. Peter refers to women as the “weaker vessel,” not as an inferior vessel but a physically weaker one. Men and women were created for different purposes. God designed us differently. We have to hold both those distinctions in our society. We are equal yet different. Men should live with their wives in an understanding way. They should be lead servants in their households. Husbands should learn to understand their wives needs and listen to their heart. Men, we can be selfish. We want our way. Love does not insist on its own way. We want to outdo our wives in honoring them. When conflict arises in your house, men, you should be asking, “Am I living with my wife in an understanding way? Am I honoring her as an heir to the grace of life? Am I valuing her role and usefulness in the kingdom of God?
For if we do not honor our wives and live with them in an understanding way, we hurt ourselves. God gives husbands a powerful motivator for obedience, Himself. He charges us to live with our wivs in an understanding way, “so that your prayers may not be hindered.” Our prayer may not be heard or accepted if we do not honor our wives. Brothers, live with your wife in an understanding way. This is our calling. Jesus laid down his life for his bride and therefore we should as well. We may be called to suffer for our families, but this is a gracious thing in the sight of God.
Beloved, it will take tremendous courage to live in hope and trust God’s Word in the 21st regarding marriage and gender roles. We will be tempted to apologize for God’s design. We will be tempted to deny gender differences. We will be tempted to not live with each other in an understanding way. Beloved, it will take tremendous courage to live in hope and trust God’s word. Every generation has their own challenges. I believe that marriage and gender roles and gender distinctions will be one of the greatest challenges Christians face in our lifetime. And yet, I am hopeful for we have an example to follow. Jesus Christ was reviled and did not revile in return. Jesus Christ was attacked for his obedience to Father, but continued to trust him. Jesus Christ bore our sins in his body on a tree that we might die to sin and live for righteousness. It is by his wounds we have been healed. And because we have been saved by the imperishable word, we too can have an imperishable spirit as we wait for our imperishable inheritance. Let us adorn Christ. Let our conduct and character make Christ attractive. We know that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but that's how the world judges Christ. The world judges Christ on the conduct and character of Christians. So let us make Christ attractive. Let us adorn Christ by following his example. Let us hope in God while doing good living with one another in an understanding way so that the world may be won to Christ, be saved, and glorify God upon his return.