Do Not Destroy, but Build
Do Not Destroy but Build
Romans 14:13-23
Most toddlers love blocks. They love to build things. We have been out of the toddler phase in our house for years, but when we have those toddlers waddle in the door, the blocks come out. They love to stack block after block; to make towers as tall as their little bodies. Toddlers love to build, and their siblings love to knock it all down. If the blocks come out with siblings, a parent will inevitably have to say, “Don’t knock down your brother’s tower!” Or more accurately, “Why did you knock down your brother’s tower?” Building blocks are fun until someone destroys another’s work. What begins as a joy-filled block building extravaganza, ends with a tear-filled toddler tantrum.
Why do older stronger siblings enjoy destroying the work of their younger, weaker brother or sister? Parents must train their children to build one another up, to teach them to honor others in their household, because there is something naturally in the heart that loves to elevate itself over others. As parents have to train their children not to tear down the block tower, the Apostle Paul has to teach the parents not to do the same. Christians too often stay as spiritual toddlers. The author of the Hebrews makes this point, Hebrews 5:11–14
About this we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.
In Romans 14, we are given tools of discernment so we could be trained to distinguish between good and evil.
God cares about how you act, but he also cares about why you act. It is enough to merely do the right thing, but we must do the right thing with the right heart for the right end. We do not want to be spiritual toddlers destroying the work of another, but rather we want to help build. The challenge with Romans 14 is that it doesn’t have specific commands of what you should or shouldn’t do. You have to think and meditate on how your actions affect another. I want to give you some tools of discernment so that you can distinguish between good and evil, right and wrong, from what destroys and what builds up faith in your brother. Three tools of discernment to distinguish good and evil.
Do not look down but love (Romans 14:13)
It appears there is a situation in Rome between Jewish and Gentile Christians. Both are believers in Jesus Christ for their salvation, but culturally come from different backgrounds. Certain Jewish believers have decided to abstain from certain meat and to observe certain days as special. They do not believe abstaining from meat or setting aside a particular day as special earns their salvation, but believe it is what the Lord desires them to do to best honor him. Paul would call these Jews weaker Christians as they are not as free from the Jewish law. There are other Gentile Christians, or the strong, who feel free to eat any kind of meat and not to observe special days.
The challenge of Romans 14 is how can those who believe in living in different ways still live together as one body. The key verses in the beginning of Romans 14 would be helpful to remember as we walk the second half, Romans 14:5–8,
One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.
Each person must be fully convinced in their own mind on what is best for him and for their family. Each person will have to answer to the Lord themselves.
Romans 14:1-12 is addressing both the weaker Jewish Christians who are bound by conscience to live closer to Old Testament law and the stronger Gentile Christians who feel free from the law. Romans 14:13-23 is primarily directed to the stronger Gentile Christians with the exception of verse 13 which addresses both and serves as a transition to continue Paul’s argument to the strong, Romans 14:13
Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.
Do not look down on your brother. Do not pass judgment on each other any longer, but decide never to put a stumbling block or any hindrance in the way of your brother honoring the Lord.
When Ellen and I had kids we made a pre-decision to gather with the saints on the Lord’s Day. It was never a question of if we were going to church, but simply where. It was a pre-decision. If any other opportunity or event came across our path, we had already made our decision. We were gathering on the Lord’s Day with the Lord’s people.
Paul is commanding a pre-decision. Before you ever have to think about it, decide in your heart that you will not do anything to destroy your brother's tower. And if you find out what you are doing is not good, you stop it. Immediately. Beloved, you have to draw the line in the sand and decide. This verse is written to the strong and the weak. None of us lives to ourselves or dies to ourselves. We live for the Lord and for each other. We have to root out the individualistic, “Don’t tread on me,” I can live any way I want mentality. We can live any way we want, but there are certain ways you live that are making it harder for someone else to follow Jesus. You have to decide, I will not intentionally make it harder for anyone to follow Jesus. If you were on a track team, would you put a hurdle in front of your teammate in the 100 yard dash? Would you intentionally try to slow down your teammate? I hope not.
The challenge is that Romans 14:13 does not tell us what the stumbling block or the hindrance may be for our brother or sister. You have to distinguish for yourself if your action is helping or hurting your brother. Deciding to never cause your brother to stumble is the first step, but then the battle begins.
Do not destroy but build (Romans 14:14-19)
After stating one verse as a summary of the previous section, Paul then turns to the stronger brother or the one whose conscience is not bound to the law, Romans 14:14–19
I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.
Paul believes all food has been declared clean. Acts 10-11 make this point. What God has declared clean, let no man call unclean.
For Paul to say all food is clean is no small thing. Paul was zealous to obey every Old Testament law so much so he was willing to jail people who didn’t follow it. But after his conversion on the Damascus road, having his eyes open to the person and work of Jesus Christ, Paul believes all food is clean. He writes in 1 Timothy 4:4–5,
For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer.
Paul is persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean, but he adds, “It is unclean for anyone who thinks it is unclean.” What Paul means is that if a person believes eating meat is dishonoring to the Lord, then it is unclean and wrong for them. If eating meat goes against their conscience, then eating meat is wrong for them even though they are allowed to do it. Paul will unpack this more at the end of the chapter.
Paul has stated all food is clean, but if you think it is unclean it's unclean for you. Then he has his pesky little sentence to tear down individualistic, “don’t tread on me,” principles, Romans 14:15,
For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died.
If your brother is grieved, discouraged, hurt, damaged, distressed by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. If your actions hurt another brother or sister, you are not walking in love. When you read verse 15, does your heart have this reaction?
You are telling me that I can’t eat meat because this guy has a tender conscience? People are way too sensitive and they need to go over it. Can’t I just enjoy my life and do what I think best? Why do I have to be concerned with what my brother thinks about what I eat?
People may be easily offended. People may have very tender consciences. And yet, living without considering them is no longer walking in love. If what I do offends or hurts someone else’s faith, I should be glad to stop it. I should be quick to give up certain rights because Christ gave up everything.
No one lives for himself or dies to himself. If we live, we live for the Lord, if we die, we die for the Lord. “By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died.” First, what does it mean to destroy a brother or sister in Christ? Paul writes to Timothy, 1 Timothy 1:5
The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.
He writes later in the same chapter, 1 Timothy 1:18–20,
This charge I entrust to you, Timothy… holding faith and a good conscience. By rejecting this (faith and a good conscience), some have made shipwreck of their faith, among whom are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan that they may learn not to blaspheme.
If people reject faith and a good conscience, it may shipwreck their soul. How could eating meat shipwreck someone’s faith? If someone thinks eating meat is unclean and against God, and by your lifestyle, you are tempting them to violate their conscience by eating meat, you could be helping to harden their conscience and lead them away from the Lord. You could encourage them to act in disbelief and thus harden their heart against God.
If what we eat is causing harm to another brother or sister, then we should gladly choose not to eat. Giving up meat is a small thing compared to what Christ gave up. “By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died.” Christ was willing to die for your brother or sister, so you can go without meat. Christ was willing to be crucified and beaten for your brother or sister, so you can go without a drink. When we look to Christ and think of his sacrifice, we should be willing, even joyfully willing to lay down our rights to protect our brother and sister conscience and continue the work of God in helping our brother and sister get to heaven by stirring their faith rather than hindering it.
If you are not a follower of Jesus, do you know that Jesus came to die for weak people? Jesus did not come to seek the healthy, but the sick. He came for the unrighteous. The Bible says that whether you think of yourself as weak or strong, we are all unrighteous. There is no distinction, the weak and strong are sinners. They need to be saved from their sin. God sent Jesus to save sinners. He lived a perfect life and died to pay for the sins of everyone who would turn to him in faith. And he didn’t just die, but he was raised from the dead. His resurrection is proof that salvation is now possible. If you turn to Christ in faith, believing in his death and resurrection, you will be saved.
Paul’s ultimate concern is not food, but people’s salvation. He believes all food is good. He is persuaded in the Lord Jesus that all meat can be eaten, unless it affects our brother in a bad way. Verse 16, “So do not let what you regard as good (freedom to eat meat) be spoken of as evil.” If we use our freedom to serve ourselves and to grieve our brother and sister, that which is good becomes evil. Verse 17, Romans 14:17
For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
This is the first time Paul mentions drinking here which is probably a reference to drinking the wine used in cult rituals for idols. As Christians, our main concern is no longer what we eat or drink but living in righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. And if you use your eating and drinking to serve Christ, God is pleased. Romans 14:18,
Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men.
We want to serve Christ and our fellow man. We want how we live to honor the Lord and encourage others to follow Christ. Paul ends the paragraph a summary verse stated positively, Romans 14:19,
So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.
Live for peace in the body of Christ and to build one another up.
As I said a few weeks ago, a simple question to help you discern your actions, “Is what I am doing loving?” Here you may ask, “Does this action promote peace and build up others?” This is a tool of discernment. Christians are builders not destroyers. We can’t be spiritual toddlers knocking down the towers built by other Christians. We are builders not destroyers. What are we building? We are building up others in Christ. Galatians 4:19 has been a helpful verse as I think about my role as a pastor, Galatians 4:19,
my little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you!
I want Christ to be formed in you. I want you to have the instincts of Christ. Jesus did not come to be served but to serve and give his life as a ransom for many. He did not consider equality a thing to be grasped but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of man. Jesus loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. Jesus gave, and gave and gave so that others could be found righteous. Beloved, if Jesus was willing to die for your brother or sister, can we give up alcohol, or suggestive TV shows, or dress more modestly, sacrifice our free evenings to serve those in need?
Paul was in the anguish of childbirth until Christ was formed in the people. Do we have the same mindset? Do we desire Christ to be formed in one another? Paul makes specific applications in Romans 14 to the church at Rome but he does this almost identically in 1 Corinthians 8-10. I would like for us to see Paul’s heart for people to know Christ and be saved by what we eat and drink. It is a great section to read this afternoon, but let's turn there and see a few paragraphs that may help us further understand Romans 14, 1 Corinthians 8:4–13
Therefore, as to the eating of food offered to idols, we know that “an idol has no real existence,” and that “there is no God but one.” For although there may be so-called gods in heaven or on earth—as indeed there are many “gods” and many “lords”—yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist.
However, not all possess this knowledge. But some, through former association with idols, eat food as really offered to an idol, and their conscience, being weak, is defiled. Food will not commend us to God. We are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off if we do. But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, will he not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.
Paul then talks about the right he has to receive payment for the gospel but has chosen to lay down that right for the sake of others. 1 Corinthians 9:19–23,
For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings.
Paul warns the Corinthians against idolatry and then writes this summation which believe is especially important for us today, 1 Corinthians 10:23–29a; 31-33,
“All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. Eat whatever is sold in the meat market without raising any question on the ground of conscience. For “the earth is the Lord’s, and the fullness thereof.” If one of the unbelievers invites you to dinner and you are disposed to go, eat whatever is set before you without raising any question on the ground of conscience. But if someone says to you, “This has been offered in sacrifice,” then do not eat it, for the sake of the one who informed you, and for the sake of conscience—I do not mean your conscience, but his…
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved.
Do you see the thread? Paul’s concern is the salvation of sinners. He is focused on people’s eternal destiny. When that is our aim, it changes who we eat and drink.
We can either destroy others by how we eat and drink or we can build them up. Negatively, do not destroy the one whom Christ died. Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Positively, pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. If we live for comfort and pleasure, we may hurt those for whom Christ died and bring disunity to the body and tear people down. If we live for eternity, we will encourage those for whom Christ died, bring peace and unity to the body as we build them up in Christ. 1 Corinthians 10:31–33,
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved.
So, what do you need to stop doing for the sake of others? What right do you need to lay down for the sake of someone’s soul? If Christ was willing to die, are you willing not to eat or drink?
Do not doubt but believe (Romans 14:20-23)
As Paul is concerned about unity, he closes this section with summarizing his argument before giving us an application to live by. Romans 14:20–23
Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.
Paul repeats his argument because of how important it was for the sake of unity in the church. In verse 22, Paul adds, “The faith you have, keep between yourself and God.” I think Paul is referencing the person who feels he is free to eat meat should practice that privately and not in the community. The person should not boast in his opinions, but should hold them to himself to serve his brothers. It might be a helpful word in our day.
Paul then provides a great summary for the Christian life, “For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.” Meaning if you can’t say, I am doing this for the glory of God, it may be sin. If the person can’t eat food in faith, it is sin. If we doubt what we are doing is right, and going against our conscience, it is not proceeding from faith but sin. Although the context is related to food, this principle can be applied in every aspect of the Christian life. If you are in a dating relationship and you are starting to doubt the boundaries you have set up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you most likely need to draw tighter ones for whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. If you are starting to feel like you shouldn’t have social media or a streaming service because of either content and time you spend on it, you may need to cut them loose for whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. If you are starting to feel like you can’t work at the same job because of a supervisor’s unethical practices, you may need to look for a new job because you can no longer work there in faith.
There are a number of situations you may apply this verse to help you live in faith and do all things for the glory of God. Remember Hebrews 5 that I quoted at the beginning the sermon, hear it again noticing verse 14, Hebrews 5:12b–14,
You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.
Trained by a constant practice to distinguish good from evil. Spiritual maturity comes when we are constantly thinking about how to live, how to eat and drink to the glory of God. If we do not want to be spiritual toddlers, we must use the powers of discernment from the Scriptures to be trained by a constant practice of what is right and wrong, good and evil. Is how you are living good for the body of Christ or against it?
Paul does not give us specific details of what we must do in every situation, but he gives us tools to discern how we can live for Jesus Christ and the good of others. It is easier to be told what to do, it is much harder to make a constant practice of discerning what is good and evil, discerning what is best for your life and the life of your family and for the good of the church. It would be wise to do an inventory of our life to ask if your thoughts and activities are pursuing peace and mutual upbuilding in the body of Christ.
In order to pursue peace and mutual upbuilding, we have to know the body. How will I know whether or not I should eat or drink unless I know the body? We can’t truly love that which we don’t know. This is one of the reasons God has given us church membership. We covenant together as members of one another. We commit to pray for each other, to bear with each other, to admonish and exhort each other as the occasion may require. The more we know each other, the better we can love each other. As we pursue deeper unity with one another and relational connection, and we discover something that grieves our brothers or sisters, we change because we want to build and not tear down.
As we think about removing any hindrance or stumbling block for our brothers and sisters, be reminded that the one who is known for hindrances to Christian fellowship is also the one who hates it. Charles Spurgeon once commented,
Satan always hates Christian fellowship; it is his policy to keep Christians apart. Anything which can divide saints from one another, he delights in. Since union is strength, he does his best to promote separation.
Beloved, do not be like Satan who works to destroy the work of God, but be like Jesus who took on the life of a servant to destroy the works of evil. Satan wants to destroy Christian unity, so we must fight for it at all costs. If Jesus died so we would be united to God and one another, let us pursue peace and build one another up for God’s glory.. The kingdom of God does not need spiritual toddlers knocking down one another but godly men and women who have decided to serve Christ, giving up their rights to build up one another and help them live in faith. Who will you be? This text forces us to ask, “Will we be a builder or a destroyer of the body?” I pray all of us will decide to remove all stumbling blocks and pursue peace and mutual upbuilding for the glory of Jesus Christ.